The People I Have Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE.

HATE SEX

by ThePeopleIHaveSleptWith

I spent three years imagining different scenarios where I would punch him in the face, but one Sunday night I found myself on my way to his house. Although I should have been focused on all the horrible things he said and did years ago, I couldn’t help but reminisce with him about the fun times.. AKA sex. What is it about sex with someone you truly hate that is so great? That night I got my answer – the sex was about ME. Unlike guys I’ve liked or tried to impress, the only person I cared about pleasing was myself. Peace out shame and insecurities.. anything I wanted I did. The position I wanted, the speed I wanted. I even left before he came… revenge motherfucker. 

MY BAD

by ThePeopleIHaveSleptWith

When my husband and I first had sex (I was a virgin) and we of course used protection. We were engaged, not married at the time, but I knew I was going to marry this man, and we would be forever. We didn’t want children yet at the time, so he puts on the condom, and we go at it. Besides the pain it was a good first experience. He knew what he was doing, and he was gentle. Everything was amazing. However, the after story is where it goes bad…  I start to burn and itch, BAD. I call him up and start freaking out! ‘I don’t know what those bitches gave you, but you had better NOT have given it to me!’ He told me I was losing it, but he would get checked, and I went to get checked. We were military, so we got checked once every 6 months or so. However some STD’s don’t pop up until it’s too late, and that’s what scared me. Well his check went fine, he was clean. My check went fine, I was clean. The doctor then asked me the question that made my day go from hopeful to bottom line embarrassing. “Did you use a latex condom?” “Yes”  they did a test, and it came up that I was allergic to Latex. I made my husband think he had an STD, because of a stupid latex allergy. My first time, will never EVER be forgotten.

SUBMITTED BY: spreadincrazysmiles

THE HEAD PUSH GAME

by ThePeopleIHaveSleptWith

Our relationship was over, not technically, but we both knew it was only a matter of time. We tried our best to hide our pain during our friends graduation party, but with every beer I grew more annoyed. It got to the point where every single thing he did or said drove me insane. I was mad at him for breathing, yes breathing.. as if he could somehow stop. His laugh sent chills up my spine and his jokes were not longer funny. Unfortunately the alcohol had the opposite effect on him. Tripping over his feet and slurring his speech he begged me to go to his car to “talk.” I sat there looking down awkwardly, as I explained to him how I felt. He placed his hand on the top of my head and slightly rubbed my scalp, consoling me, but all I could think was YOU’RE MESSING UP MY HAIR. After a few second he lightly pushed my head down towards his lap, confused I looked up at him. He did it again, but this time with force. We sat there for five minutes playing the head push game. ((The Head Push Game: When a man continues to push a woman’s head towards his crotch, trying to get her to suck his dick, while the woman lifts her head, clearly denying his request.))  I couldn’t take it anymore so I left the car and broke up with him over the phone.

THREE PUMPS

by ThePeopleIHaveSleptWith

After six months of heavy drinking, good friends and great weed I got over my ex. Of course that’s when he decided to text me. It didn’t help that I was just drunk enough to think that answering him was a good idea. After a few more beers I would of been too busy singing “Man I Feel Like A Women” to reply. I shouldn’t of been surprised when the friendly conversation quickly turned sexual. Later that night he picked me up and drove to our “spot” …that use to be romantic.  We quickly moved to the back seat and he ripped off my clothes. I guess he thought that texting was enough foreplay because he just stuck it right in. One pump, two pumps, three pumps and he was done.